Friday, July 18, 2008

Twas the Night Before Potty Training

*As interpreted by Mommy, who missed the fun while she was at work

'Twas the night before Potty training, and all through the house
Not a toilet was stirring, not even from a spouse;

The undies were hung on the washer with care,
In hopes that Kaden’s bottom soon would reside there;

Kaden was nestled all snug in his big boy bed,
While visions of potty candy danced in his head;

And mamma in her tanktop, and I in my shorts,
Had just settled down for a summer’s nap of sorts,

When the alarm began to give off a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to get started on this matter.
Away to the potty I flew tripping over my feet,
Tore open the lid and inserted the seat.

The bathroom light on the seat of the pot
Gave “Blue” a luster I never would have thought,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature boy, with an eight pound diaper on his rear,

With a little guy, so lively and quick,
Getting him to sit still right away might lead to a fit.

More rapid than eagles his demands they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"I eat! I milk! I want Elmo Oose!
Come on Dad let’s go!
His urgency seemed to say “I am about to miss my favorite show!”

To the living room to change! to the kitchen to eat!
Now getting him potty trained was proving to be quite a feat!"

He downed 6 boxes of juice in an hour or two,

So ready to go, to the bathroom we flew,
With arms full of books, and the portable DVD player too.

And then, in a twinkling

(more like half an hour),

I heard on the water
Not even one tiny, little drop.

As I threw up my hands, and was turning to leave,
Down from the potty came Kaden with a heave.

He was dressed in nothing, from his head to his foot,
His diaper was off and I was feeling brave;
A pair of Diego underwear I put on him hoping his bladder would behave,

And he looked like a big boy wearing those underoos!
And off to the kitchen we trekked for more juice

His eyes -- how they twinkled!
his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His cute little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

His giant stuffed hippo tucked safe in his arms,
And then all of a sudden he shouted “Uh, oh!” with alarm!;

He had a sad face and a puddle below,
I shook, when I laughed telling him ”Oh, no!”.

He was soggy and wet, and seemingly proud of himself,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A bottle of Clorox and a towel in my fist,
Soon increased how much Mommy was missed;

We spoke not a word, but went straight to our work,
We stripped off the soaked underwear, and returned to the hub

And pushing play on the DVD player,
up to the screen his eyes did stare;
And again I was sitting on the edge of the tub,

After 45 minutes, I heard a small stream,
And immediately I started to cheer and scream woo hoo!
I gave him some candy and replaced the diaper.

After all He still hadn’t a clue what he had to do

And I thought to myself,
well he’s not even two

He sure liked the undies,
So what was this caring father to do.....

Hey double coverage..what's the worst it could do?

We will stick with it but for now I will say

“Happy Potty Training to you and to all a Dry Day!”

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randa said...

that is hilarious!!!!! Double coverage huh? Whatever works. Have fun with the potty training...

The Cochran Fam said...

That is awesome!!! You guys crack me up! Good luck!