Wednesday, March 5, 2008

No, No, No, No, Don’t mess with my heart!

Ok you notice the repetition of No in this title…this also what can be heard at our house currently. Kaden’s favorite word and answer to every question is “No!” Even if he really wants it! Unless of course you ask him if he wants a cookie then it immediately is “Cookie? Yeah!” this word is slowly making me crazy. I read in my What to Expect the First Year that this is a normal stage and they will soon out grow it. The problem is it could last 2 more years! AHHHH!!!

We have already moved to almost daily swats and/or timeouts. I don’t like doing this but I can see in his eye that he knows exactly what he is doing. He will look at me when doing something he shouldn’t be and then said a defiant “No!” he gets a three count and will sometimes straighten up but when he doesn’t he gets a swat. The power behind it would barely injure a gnat but he can be quite dramatic. He has started getting smarter though..I have seen him twice in the last few days swing his arm back like he was going to hit and then he will smile big and say “tickle, tickle” instead.

Stinker…tried and true.
I know you can’t imagine this face acting that way….but trust me…he doesn’t just look like Dada ;)

For a while now we have not allowed him to get things by screaming or pointing he must and can say “please.” He also must say “down” to get down from his chair. He does well with these but will still sometimes throw a fit when put at the table to eat. We have found ignoring him works well when he is screaming and he will soon be eating completely forgetting that he didn’t’ want up there in the first place. I also can’t stand throw yourself on the floor fits. He will lie down and start to fit, an immediate three count starts and he either gets up or gets a swat. 2 out of 3 times that his happens he will just get up but the other times he gets the swat. He will figure it out eventually.

The whole process is of course made more difficult by the fact that we are not the primary caregivers. Sadly he spends more time at Mrs. Joyce’s house than with us…..being a working mom. Super sucks! (Sorry had to throw that in). Luckily he hasn’t started sassing there until recently so hopefully now we can all get on the same page. HMM……perhaps that is why he has cried the last 2 days when I picked him up…that’s the breaking my heart part……He knows Mommy isn’t afraid to swat. Well don’t worry….I have now empowered Mrs. Joyce to swat and timeout as she deems necessary. Perhaps Two “Mama’s” will be better than 1!

Here is my dilemma…how do I stop the “no”? If you have any advice, help me out! I might go crazy if it continues for 2 more years! I love that sweet boy and want him to stay sweet. I would hate for him to be the kindergartener that drives some poor teacher crazy!

Dear Lord, please give us the strength to be good parents. Give us patience and wisdom to survive these early terrible 2’s. Help us to be consistent so that we can get these unwanted behaviors under control. Amen


Diana Richards said...

I wish someone would tell me the answer to this question, also. Just today, Zach would do something that he KNEW would upset me just so I would get up and come over to him. For Zach, his tantrums are often just to get my reaction out of it. This is why we rarely do much about tantrums, and just walk away, and let him emote. They almost never last long, thankfully, and if they do, it is usually for alternate reasons (lack of nap, illness, etc.) I have noticed that redirecting for Zach lately has worked best for him. We still acknowledge his behavior as bad, but if we make a big deal about it, it just seems to magnify the problem. This has been the most effective thing for us so far (and it will change completely I am sure next week) though, we still have our moments! Gotta love this motherhood thing, man! Let me know what you find out!

Anonymous said...

Hmm, let me give you my wisdom! (Hahaha) We too are working on the fits thing and have gotten them down to just a sad face and a quick cry mostly. If she is throwing a really big fit, that earns her a quick trip to bed without the beloved paci, or a spanking depending on where we are. As far as the always answering no thing goes, I just started asking her if she really meant yes, which she often times did. It didn't take long for her to figure out that if she used the correct words, she would get what she wanted much faster!--Erin Carroll

The Cochran Fam said...

Try omitting the word NO from your own vocabulary. (Although there are times when it is absolutely necessary!) Use words/phrases like "don't" and "stop" instead or say the positive behavior that you want. (Example: If he's climbing on something, instead of saying NO, say don't climb or put your feet on the floor.) We tried this for a while when that's all Bailey would say. Just wait until he's TWO!!!!!

The Rhodes' said...

thank you all for the great advice! I will try them all out! The sad thing is several people have told me that 3 is even worse! AH!

Daddio said...

I don't got nothin' for you. Three is worse, five is pretty bad too. It sounds like you're doing a good job. Consistency is the key. Stick with a nice early bed time so that you two parents can recharge your batteries at the end od the day.

I want to see pictures of baby K in the snow!