Saturday, October 13, 2007

That ain't no guacamole!

Yesterday after work Kaden and I went to meet Meghan, Aunt Sissy, at Grapevine Mills Mall for some eyebrow threading, aka torture. (If you haven't tried this it does work amazingly well..but no matter what Meg says having hairs ripped from above your eye socket is not pain free.. no matter the method) Anyway after this exciting adventure we decided to get some dinner..not surprisingly we wanted some Mexican food! We were in separate cars so we proceeded to Uncle Julios with a cranky, hungry baby in tow. As we arrived at the restaurant, I got an amazing front row spot. Meghan was, of course, 2 steps from the door ( she has this uncanny knack for getting amazingly close parking spots!) As I was getting out of the car, Meg yelled across that she would go on ahead and get our names on the list. This sounded like a great plan. I then proceeded to unload my purse and unhook Kaden from his seat. The backpack was, of course, in the far back so while trying to keep my purse from sliding down my arm and the 20 lb+ baby from falling out of my arms I manage to hoist the back gate and untangle the bag from under the stroller. Suddenly a mother's worst hand is wet. I know I haven't washed it anytime recently and Kaden is not holding a cup so nothing is leaking..except, of course, the dreaded diaper leak. I hustle towards the restaurant praying for #1, when I see Meg coming towards we. "There's an hour and a half wait, No way" she says. Well I tell her that we are going to the bathroom because we have a Code DE! (diaper explosion) My hopes are dashed as look down and see a green substance on my hand, now we were not able to get into the restaurant so I knew it wasn't guacamole! Meg and I immediately divert ourselves back to the car. This was going to require more than a Koala changing station! Thoughts of OH, crap! I didn't replace the extra outfit were now flashing through my head. Again we raise the gate..suddenly I am not feeling nearly as thankful for my front row spot, clear out the stroller and search for the changing pad. Kaden is screaming bloody murder and by the way officially leaking poo everywhere! I remove the shoes and move on to the delicate pants removal. If you have never attempted to remove poo covered shorts from a squirming one year old then you haven't lived. This is a delicate operation requiring the steady hand and skill of a surgeon. too quickly and the legs will be painted, too slow and wiggling will allow the mess the spread to the other leg. I adeptly remove the pants and thrown then in the first thing I can find, the Carter's sack that we just picked up at the mall, I toss out the precious green stripped reindeer Christmas pajamas that his Aunt Sissy just bought Kaden and quickly throw the pants inside. I then make another terrible discovery the poo has not been contained to the pants it has indeed made it's way northward....shirt removal, also tricky, avoid the hair and face, nearly impossible but using my stealthy moves I am again successful. As Kaden continues to "paint" the changing pad, I quickly throw the shirt into aforementioned sack and prepare for the clean-up . (Sidenote: Meg has been frantically searching for another sack in which we can contain the diaper, while occasionally gagging (Blah), not actually throwing up but actually retching. I will insert BLah to represent this as I continue the story.) I carefully strip off the diaper and throw it into Meg's sack (blaah), I use about 5 wipes to clean Kaden's back , butt, changing pad, legs you name it (blaah, blaah). Aunt Sissy continues to adeptly hold the bag, all the while wretching away. (BLAaH) at long last, in front of God, and the entire population of Uncle Julios, Kaden is clean and in a fresh diaper. Only one problem, no extra outfit right, wrong problem solved...Christmas in October anyone?? That's right I put Kaden in his cute little reindeer jammies, no matter that they are flannel and it was 80 degrees out, he was wearing clothes and as this point that is all that mattered! As you can see from the picture below, he loved them!
The moral of the story: ALWAYS bring extra clothes! BTW: I am ashamed to admit that Aunt sissy (BLAAH) dropped the sack under the car, so last night I officially became "that guy" who leaves dirty diapers in the parking lot, but at least now I know why it is others are compelled to do this. Trust me if you haven't already had an experience like this you will and you will drop the bag also!

We did finally get some dinner at Mimi's. The bib covered most of the reindeer and we only got a few strange looks. We were prepared with a story about him modeling for a Christmas craft show but never got the chance to use it!


The Cochran Fam said...

EWWW! Every mom has had one of these moments! So does eyebrow threading last longer than waxing?

Diana Richards said...

Oh my nasty. The wretching was my favorite part, though. Now, to the really important question...what is eyebrow threading???

megrynders said...

Just thinking about this makes me want to wretch!! He did look PRECIOUS in those reindeer pajamas though!! For you guys wondering about eyebrow threading it is awesome, last way longer than waxing, is more accurate, i think pain free, and they are able to get really good shapes to your eyebrows..all for the meager price of $10! Totally worth it if you ask me!!